My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me

I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I didn't like being spoken to in that voice.

I don't think lesbians should be allowed to use dildos, afterall they've made their choice

My dad has a weird hobby; he collects empty bottles... which sounds so much better than "alcoholic."

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

Even though I'm proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we're not as close as we appear.