She liked people. Me, I can take them or leave them, but mostly leave them.

Love is the only thing that keeps me sane.

Will you lie to me and promise to read them? Books need to be read. The pages need to be turned.

Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many pepole got divorced nowadays. HE had been unhappilly married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?

The monarchy is finished. It was finished a while ago, but they're still making the corpses dance.

I'm spectacularly disorganised. I wrote my latest book in seven different notebooks scattered throughout my house.

Yes, I hate it when people call me a 'national treasure'. It takes away your bite and makes you feel like a harmless old golden Labrador.