Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

I'm not at my best when I moralize or philosophize. Logic is elusive, especially to one who so rarely uses it.

I have been absolutely hag-ridden with ambition. If I could wish to have anything in the world it would be to be free of ambition.

They say it's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me, I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember even if I don't write it down.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

I've had a man and I've had a woman, and there's got to be something better.

There have only been two authentic geniuses in the world, Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare and I think you'd better put Shakespeare first, darling.