I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

[On being asked in her later years if she were Tallulah:] I'm what's left of her, dahling.

I have three phobias ...: I hate going to bed, get up and hate hate being alone.

I did what I could to inflate the rumor I was on my way to stardom. What I was on my way to, by any mathematical standards known to man, was oblivion, by way of obscurity.

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.