I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

A Republican. A Republican. That's worse than being a goddamned Communist!

[On being asked in her later years if she were Tallulah:] I'm what's left of her, dahling.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.

Will TV kill the theater? If the programs I have seen, save for "Kukla, Fran and Ollie," the ball games and the fights, are any criterion, the theater need not wake up in a cold sweat.

The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.