All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.

I'm not at my best when I moralize or philosophize. Logic is elusive, especially to one who so rarely uses it.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

Bette [Davis] and I are good friends. There's nothing I wouldn't say to her face - both of them.

I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.