All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

Of course cocaine is not adictive, darling. I should know, I've been doing it for years.

I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, 'I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.'