I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

A frozen daiquiri of a scorching afternoon is soothing. It makes living more tolerable.

A Republican. A Republican. That's worse than being a goddamned Communist!