I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.

If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.

A frozen daiquiri of a scorching afternoon is soothing. It makes living more tolerable.

My progress reminded me of the horses in The Whip. They raced at the limit of their speed directly toward the audience. But they raced on a treadmill which canceled out their progress.

I have been tight as a tick! Fried as a mink! Stiff as a goat!

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.