If you know your Bible and your Shakespeare and can shoot craps, you have a liberal education.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

[To the man who came up to her at a party and exclaimed effusively, 'Tallulah! I haven't seen you for 41 years!':] I thought I told you to wait in the car.

[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.