Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

For acting, darlings, is the world's most perilous trade. Compared with actors, steeple jacks and deep-sea divers lead snug and placid lives.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

They aren't making mirrors like they use to.