Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.

Do you know what my ambition is in life? To be without ambition. As far back as I can remember I've been absolutely hag-ridden. I'd like to attain the state of mind that the Indians call Nirvana. That, for me, would happen if I were free of ambition.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

They aren't making mirrors like they use to.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

I have three phobias ...: I hate going to bed, get up and hate hate being alone.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.