Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise lounge as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

I did what I could to inflate the rumor I was on my way to stardom. What I was on my way to, by any mathematical standards known to man, was oblivion, by way of obscurity.

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.

In the theater lying is looked upon as an occupational disease.

I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

Television could perform a great service in mass education, but there's no indication its sponsors have anything like this on their minds.