[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

For acting, darlings, is the world's most perilous trade. Compared with actors, steeple jacks and deep-sea divers lead snug and placid lives.

They aren't making mirrors like they use to.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.

[To the man who came up to her at a party and exclaimed effusively, 'Tallulah! I haven't seen you for 41 years!':] I thought I told you to wait in the car.