[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

[On being asked in her later years if she were Tallulah:] I'm what's left of her, dahling.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

There is less in this than meets the eye.