[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

I have been tight as a tick! Fried as a mink! Stiff as a goat!

If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.