I remained Ryan's companion on the Hollywood party circuit, growing inured to sex and drugs before I was in my teens.

The more love I craved, the more distant and abusive he grew. The role I longed to play was never written into Ryan's script: daughter.

My children forgave me at a time when I could barely forgive myself.

I've overcome neglect and deprivation, abandonment and abuse.

Things get so sloppy when you're under the influence.

I think all of us feel like we're a bit on show, all the time.

I never dreamed that shooting a film would be so hard. There was less regulation then of child actors' hours. Even the concept of acting confused me.