Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.

When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

They say that the eyes of some paintings can follow you around the room, a fact that I doubt, but I am wondering whether some music can follow you for ever.

In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?

This was the definition of eternity; it was the space of time devised by the Great God Om to ensure that everyone got the punishment that was due to them.

If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.