I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf, And me an' my friends can walk towards you with our hats on backwards in a menacing way, Yo!

It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country," he read. "This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.

Knowing that you are going to die is, I suspect, the beginning of wisdom.

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.

What was the point of education, he thought, if people went out afterward and used it?