Learnin’ how not to do things is as hard as learning how to do them.

They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you?

The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.

The people who guard the rainbow don't like those who get in the way of the sun.

I thought unicorns were more . . . Fluffy.

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

[Y]ou weren't born with a talent for witchcraft: it didn't come easily; you worked hard at it because you wanted it. You forced the world to give it to you, no matter the price, and the price is and always will be high... People say you don't find witchcraft; witchcraft finds you. But you've found it, even if at the time you didn't know what it was you were finding, and you grabbed it by its scrawny neck and made it work for you.