It turns out I have clinical schizophrenia. The unborn chicken voices were telling me to kill my family.

It turns out I have clinical schizophrenia. The unborn chicken voices were telling me to kill my family.

Hungry Hungry Hippos is so depressing. You continuously chomp away at those balls and you are alone and it's your birthday.'

Well actually I'm not a man but a carrot. The band was eating salads one day and a carrot fell off of the salad bar onto a microphone and the band realized that they had just discovered something brilliant. Me.

Remember that Cosby show where he harrassed the children? Well I put on a little suit and because I am so small they invited me on but nobody was laughing at my jokes. I guess I'm just, too, particularly smart for them.

Whenever I meet a beauty, I escape or hide in the corner.

If you Americans aren't from the stone age then explain to me how your president is a ****ing pterodactyl