I was abducted by aliens as a boy. Aliens is the name of a pedophile who lived in my alley.

Someone needs to tell the truth, but it shouldn't be my job.

I didn't ask to be Thom Yorke. Thom Yorke asked to be me.

There are a lot of things I cannot do, such as eat books and read chicken.

I'm listening to Aphex Twin. That makes me cultured and interesting.

I'm absolutely terrified that people can get into cars. It's like the car is a face, and the headlight is eyes, and when you open the car door it's like you're climbing into the ears. (I cannot) be inside a giant rolling robot head.

My uncle used to sit me on his lap and play "ventriloquist", only I wasn't wearing pants.