I was abducted by aliens as a boy. Aliens is the name of a pedophile who lived in my alley.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's a goddamn chicken he doesn't know what the **** he's doing

I feel like as musicians we need to fight the Spotify thing. I feel that in some ways what's happening in the mainstream is the last gasp of the old industry. Once that does finally die, which it will, something else will happen.

15 Step is about how if you have mental illness and try to dance you look very funny. Whenever you see me dancing on stage, I'm imitating the mentally ill.

If I could be any animal I would be a pony because then I could have sex with ponies.

There's the beautiful people and then there's the rest of us.

I named my son Noah for the same reason Chris Martin named his apple: we're asses.