I'm not afraid of computers taking over the world. They're just sitting there. I can hit them with a two by four.

I had a dream where my face was a hamburger. What the?

You know, it's never easy to understand why I do what I do. For other people, I mean.

I'll regularly just burst out into laughter at funerals, at the expense of the dead. What's the difference between a dead person and Thom Yorke? One is talented and the other is dead. **** you grandma

The allegations of me being a pedophile are spurious, at best. However I will admit that taking my knickers off in the park and having an Easter Egg hunt with those apple-cheeked four year olds was in my best interest and not theirs

Someone once asked me how the universe was created, I told him it all began with Pablo Honey

I'm absolutely terrified that people can get into cars. It's like the car is a face, and the headlight is eyes, and when you open the car door it's like you're climbing into the ears. (I cannot) be inside a giant rolling robot head.