Where are you sleeping tonight? Face down in the mud? That's a British tradition: Take acid and fall asleep in some field.

I often steal sandwiches, eat them, and put the container's back., with a signed autograph of my self in its place. It's my way of giving back to society.

Most Radiohead songs are actually REM songs, I just have a mentally ill child read the lyrics aloud and then I change the melodies a bit.

I sometimes have birthday parties for the kids in my neighborhood and then pretend to suggest that I am going to molest them to the parents. It's a hilarious prank even though I am not a paedophile.

I am the greatest thing to happen to black music.

Kid A is about an abortion. An abortion of the soul. *Begins to cry, holds up air quotes* Thom Yorke.

I wanted to live with the ****ing manta rays, but they banned me from Sea World.