There's the beautiful people and then there's the rest of us.

It's God's will that millions of people are gonna die this year because of some outmoded economic policies? No, it's not!

Every Christmas people are so nice to me, they think I am Little Tim from A Christmas Story. But I'm not. *smiles*

15 Step is about how if you have mental illness and try to dance you look very funny. Whenever you see me dancing on stage, I'm imitating the mentally ill.

I'm horrified of leprechauns. I'm horrified that I might be leprechauns.

I tied a bunch of balloons to a beach chair and tried to float up to heaven. *begins to weep* There's no heaven, and birds tried to kill me! *shrivels up*

If I could be any famous person, I'd be John Wilkes Booth, because I'd love to shoot Abraham Lincoln in the face