Technology is killing us. We think it's helping us but it's killing us. Don't ask me why because I don't have the time or the attention span to complete that thought. Now let's all hold hands and draw spider monkeys.

The pointless snide remarks of hammerheaded sharks

Open your mouth wide A universal sigh.

I've never believed that pop music is escapist trash. There's always a darkness in it, even amidst great pop music.

I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.

I am the greatest thing to happen to black music.

I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite.