If an opera cannot be played by an organ grinder, it's not going to achieve immortality.

As you'll never hear the thing again, my boy, why not throw in a couple of brass bands?

If an opera cannot be played by an organ grinder, it's not going to achieve immortality.

A musicologist is a man who can read music but cannot hear it.

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.