A musicologist is a man who can read music but cannot hear it.
Beethoven's last quartets were written by a deaf man and should only be listened to by a deaf man.
The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.
Without question the most unpopular medium of musical sound in the world.
The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.
Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.