The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

Composers and musicians have always starved and, as this is a sentimental country, we think the tradition should be continued.

The English may not like music, but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Music first and last should sound well, should allure and enchant the ear. Never mind the inner significance.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

As you'll never hear the thing again, my boy, why not throw in a couple of brass bands?

Without question the most unpopular medium of musical sound in the world.