Beethoven's last quartets were written by a deaf man and should only be listened to by a deaf man.

When asked whether he minded if someone smoked in a non-smoking compartment. Certainly not if you don't object if I'm sick.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Too much counterpoint; what is worse, Protestant counterpoint.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

The British like any kind of music so long as it is loud.

The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.