The sound of the harpsichord resembles that of a bird-cage played with toasting-forks.

We cannot expect you to be with us all the time, but perhaps you could be good enough to keep in touch now and again.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

What can you do with it? It's like a lot of yaks jumping about.

Composers and musicians have always starved and, as this is a sentimental country, we think the tradition should be continued.