I want to spend time with Oprah and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.

The idea of being in control for the sake of control, is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing, you know, what they're doing well, you don't really need to be in control all the time.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.