I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.

When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn't think anyone would notice, but I persevered because - like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle - it was a labour of love.

You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!

I found the recording sessions very freeing because you can really try things. When you're filming something, if you're improvising a film and you're wasting film and wasting a cameraman's time.

You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It's not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt.