Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy.

Sometimes when you're doing a comedy, the director will yell out "alts" and then the director gets the first laugh.

Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body's totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.

I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.

Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I'm eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be.

We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.

...the music seems creepy, like when children sing in a horror movie