If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

One of the great things about doing animated movies is that you don't have to dress up or put on make-up.

You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

Don't be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

You don't just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at 'SNL' is writing to go after someone.

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.