I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that.

I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right.

I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport.

And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.

Comedy clubs are a bit more expensive. That's the problem with some of these places. But the flipside of that is, if you do too many shows for free or $5, then people don't understand why you can't fly to Milwaukee and do a show for a $3 cover. That won't even pay for my flight.

Anyone who bombs is my friend.

I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all