Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour. How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics.

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.

Human beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever.

Poetry is one of the few nasty childhood habits I've managed to grow out of

I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot