Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.

There’s nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it’s basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly.

Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's nothing in the cosmos large enough or malicious enough to frighten them, or stupid enough to try.

New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly; it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive to be anything else

There is that within a man that drives him ever onwards, just as the power of the seasons drives the roots of flowers into the hard earth; and so he decided, against his better judgment, to open his eyes and find out what was going to happen to him next.

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.