Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant.

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

There's all sorts of things I was always meaning to get around to - learning to play the flute, calculating the square root of nought, going mad - but I just didn't have the time.

At any given time, ninety-nine-point-nine-five per cent of the human race are a confounded nuisance

American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot