The people who came to hear me perform or to buy my records were not the type who would be offended [by the song 'The Vatican Rag']. But I gather that there were other people who were offended.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.

Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!