On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

No one is more dangerous than someone who thinks he has "The Truth". To be an atheist is almost as arrogant as to be a fundamentalist. But then again, I can get pretty arrogant.

Don't write naughty words on the wall if you can't spell!

For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!

I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.

My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.