You cant be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.

Comedy is very important. For one thing, it keeps you sane. But it's not really a conversion. I mean, it's marginally a conversion, because if people tune in or go to a nightclub or even watch television, and hear that a lot of other people are laughing at something you thought was not funny, at least it'll force you to reconsider.

If you visit American city, You will find it very pretty. Just two things of which you must beware: Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air. Pollution, pollution, They got smog and sewage and mud. Turn on your tap and get hot and cold running crud. See the halibuts and the sturgeons Being wiped out by detergents. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, But they don't last long if they try. Pollution, pollution, You can use the latest toothpaste, And then rinse your mouth with industrial waste.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.