You cant be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.

I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!

Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price.