I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines...I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirize George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporize them. And that's not funny....OK, well, if I say that, I might get a shock laugh, but it's not really satire.

The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm. But just in case, we better get a bomb.

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.

If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.