I don't like doing stand-up for little kids. It's not geared for that.

I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy.

If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

I'm not afraid to move away from funny. I'm not afraid of that.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.