I told my dad 'Yeah, I’m going to be a drummer', and he said 'Well, if you can rub your stomach at the same time as you pat your head at the same time you’re standing on one leg and kicking the other one out in a circle and say the pledge of allegiance'. And I did all that just like bam, you know?

Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

I caught on fire twice on the stage, but I was promptly put out. It was just my leg

I've matured, maybe, but not grown up.

I'd probably be a burglar, I'd burgle people.

The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today.

I have a homosexual crush on most adolescents.