Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike.

Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective.

The truth is, marijuana probably isn't going to make you kill people. Most likely isn't going to fund terrorists, but pot makes you feel fine with being bored and it's when you're bored that you should be learning a new skill or some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you're not good at anything.

Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas.

I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world.

My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?'

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?