Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd.

My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for 'family home evening,' and I was like, 'Why aren't you people ignoring each other and watching television?'

So much of what you see now in Hollywood is written and directed by committee, and you can see it.

I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world.

The truth is, marijuana probably isn't going to make you kill people. Most likely isn't going to fund terrorists, but pot makes you feel fine with being bored and it's when you're bored that you should be learning a new skill or some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you're not good at anything.

My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut.

I spend shockingly little time thinking about real-world stuff.