Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you're probably not enjoying it.

We're the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn't do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, 'Whatever.' Someone says, 'They might come try to burn your house down,' we say, 'We'll just get another one.'

We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can't get mad at what we do, because then they're just making of themselves.

You don't need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado.

Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd.

When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, 'The Dentist.' I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of what can go wrong at the dentist, and I just remember I had lots of fake blood and everything.

I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.