If you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.

Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.

Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.

The rules your parents teach you to live by are very different than the rules the world actually runs by. Most of the conventional wisdom is not only wrong, it's a lie told to us by people who want to control us. It doesn't help us, it helps them. Pretty much everything we're told as children (and adults, really) by the established power structures in our lives are made up fairytales us to reinforce that control: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, fat-free frozen dinners, religion, and metering lights on the highway--the list goes on

Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)

I think that there's a lot of guys out there that want to read the equivalent of chick lit, but really there's not being much written for them.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.