No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.

My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: "Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.

I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.

I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.