Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art.
Tucker MaxYou can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.
Tucker MaxTwo girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.
Tucker MaxThere are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.
Tucker MaxTheatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.
Tucker MaxThe rules your parents teach you to live by are very different than the rules the world actually runs by. Most of the conventional wisdom is not only wrong, it's a lie told to us by people who want to control us. It doesn't help us, it helps them. Pretty much everything we're told as children (and adults, really) by the established power structures in our lives are made up fairytales us to reinforce that control: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, fat-free frozen dinners, religion, and metering lights on the highway--the list goes on
Tucker MaxGuys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.
Tucker MaxIf you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think.
Tucker MaxI've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.
Tucker MaxBut here's the thing about being honest: All the liars HATE you for it, and most of the people in the world are liars. They lie to their bosses, they lie to their families, they lie to themselves, they lie so much they don't even know they're lying anymore. If you have the courage to be honest even a little bit all those people will hate you for it, because their lie is reflected in your honesty. Oscar Wilde wasn't kidding when he said, "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."
Tucker MaxBefore you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.
Tucker MaxI’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor
Tucker MaxProbably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.
Tucker MaxWhat people who don't create don't understand, is that once you take money from the machine, the machine [movie industry] owns you.
Tucker MaxIf you just don't have any idea what you want to do, the worst thing you can do is go to law school. If you can go to college, maybe it's fine to have four years of fun and learn a little bit, that's okay, but if you have to go two hundred thousand dollars in debt, that's not something I would recommend.
Tucker MaxI never felt pressured to create more stories, but dealing with people became really aggravating.
Tucker MaxCritics stopped being relevant when they stopped writing to inform and contextualize, and when they started writing to signal who they are, to display their identity by their stance on what they are writing about. Criticism should never be about the critic, but thats what it has become, and that’s why no one cares about them anymore.
Tucker MaxPeople have proven over and over that they will read if they are given something they like. The problem with reading is not reading, its that almost everything out there sucks. For so long, publishing has been run by a cartel of snobby pseudo-intellectual failed writers, and the resulting output has reflected not what the market wants, but what they think people are supposed to read.
Tucker MaxThe narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.
Tucker MaxIt is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way.
Tucker MaxYou show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.
Tucker MaxThings always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.
Tucker MaxTo my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
Tucker MaxIf you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
Tucker MaxA lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.
Tucker MaxMy path to wisdom began when I stopped pretending to know things I didn't know. When I explicitly admitted to the limits of my knowledge, stopped building on ambiguity and ignorance, and instead realized that I knew nothing, not even the things I thought I knew.
Tucker MaxI was stupid when I was 17 or 18. My thought process was that I thought that I was legitimately a hyper-genius, and so I wanted to go to the hardest academic school I could to see if I was really as smart as I thought I was.
Tucker MaxUnless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.
Tucker MaxThe thing that I think about the most, and is the most rewarding to me, is the whole past. That I kind of went from nothing to something and I did it on my own, and I did it through hard work and smarts.
Tucker MaxGeneral reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable.
Tucker MaxI never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.
Tucker Max