Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.

You know that look a cop gives you when he's so confused that he doesn't even know how to respond? If you don't know that look, it means you haven't had enough fun in your life.

I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.

Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another.

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.

Yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but everyone forgets the second half of that quote: the road to heaven is paved with good actions.

I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.