Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

Opinions are projections.

I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.

I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. (Quoting feedback from a reader)

I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.