I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

As a general rule, whenever guys have problems approaching girls, it's because they're afraid of rejection or they're afraid of something specific. The way that you get over a fear like that is you figure out what the worst is that can happen.

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.