Before you're famous it's stuff that seems like it'd be really cool, but once you get it, you realize it's not bad, but it's kind of hollow and meaningless.

Things always work out for me because I do whatever I want without worrying about the consequences.

Before I was famous, I already was the person that attracted and dealt with a lot of weirdos.

Tell beautiful women they are smart, and smart women they are beautiful.

You play crotch roulette, you're gonna hit double zero once in a while.

My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: "Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?

I’ve heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a “professor