Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.

The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.

You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.