Theatrical success is predominantly two variables: who the distributor is and how much money they spend.

Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

Great careers are getting easier to find and audition for, but harder to keep.

Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.

Fat girls aren’t real people.

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

Listen to authority figures because of their position, but only believe them if they can explain why.