I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.

Make no mistake about it: Law school is not a bastion of intellectual discourse.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

Opinions are projections.

I tell the truth, and truth is the ultimate defense against libel.

There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.

I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.